My #1 Son

I had a pleasant surprise when I opened Outlook to read my email yesterday morning. After culling through the spam, I noticed a message from someone I have not heard from in over 3 years. His name is Harald (Halle') Nielsen. I first met Halle' in 1985 when I lived in Savannah. Halle', a Swedish citizen, was a high school foreign exchange student. He was only 15 years old.

It seems that Halle' was placed with a family near Albany, Georgia when he first arrived for a high school year in the U.S. His experience with this family, who were pecan farmers, quickly turned into a nightmare. In the family's zeal to make Halle' feel like a member of the family, they went a little too far. He quickly became little more than a slave. While being expected to attend school daily and deal with the trials and tribulations of a visitor speaking a foreign tongue, Halle' was also expected to spend long hours in the afternoons and evenings helping his host father tend to the pecan orchards. This isn't exactly what Halle' signed up for when he elected to spend a year in the U.S. going to school. By the way, none of his "credits" earned in a U.S. high school could be used as credits in his home country, thus putting Halle' a year behind his life-long school friends.

Halle' contacted the organization area representative, the one responsible for placing him with the family; the one responsible for counseling him and helping him have a successful experience. He requested numerous times that he be moved to a different family, but his request went unheard until the requests finally reached as high as the organization's headquarters. Then, things happened quickly. That's where I entered the drama.

In October of 1985, I had been divorced from my first wife for approximately 3 years. One evening while sitting in my easy chair in my Savannah home, I happened to see a public service announcement encouraging people to volunteer to host high school aged foreign exchange students for a school year. It sounded interesting to me, so, I called the contact number listed on the TV screen. With a friendly voice a lady by the name of Lisette DeGroot answered the phone. From that point on my lifestyle as a single male in the prime of life came to an abrupt end.

I told Lisette, an area representative with Educational Foundation for Foreign Study and an actual neighbor of mine, that I was interested in hosting a student. I really had my doubts that any organization would place a student with a single adult male. Lisette explained that she would like to come to my home to interview me and give me more information about hosting. I resisted initially because I really didn't expect things to happen so quickly. But, the process had begun and had already become a runaway train!

The interview was arranged in my home for the next evening. Lisette arrived promptly at the appointed time. She asked me a lot of questions, trying to determine if I would be a fit host parent, a fit SINGLE host parent. I learned later that single male host parents were rare. In fact, they were non-existent! After about an hour of answering a lot of tough questions and an inspection of my home by Lisette, she mentioned that her organization (EF) had an emergency situation where a student needed a new host family. She told me a little about the situation and a little about Halle'. Well, I accepted the challenge to become Halle's new host "family." Great! I would psyche myself up over the next week or so and make mental plans as to how I was going to be the best host father in the world when I had never been a father before! No problem! I discovered quickly that my mental time table wasn't exactly what Lisette had in mind. Halle' would be delivered to my home the next afternoon!

The next morning I made a list of stuff that I had to do before my new "son" arrived. First, there was no furniture in the bedroom that would become his. So, I had to shop for a bedroom suite. Then, I had to go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of food that I thought a 15 year old boy would eat. I really had no idea what to buy, but I think I looked good marching up and down the aisles of the grocery story filling my basket with assorted food items. There seemed to be dozens of details to tend to with only hours remaining before the big moment.

The furniture arrived around 2:00 in the afternoon and Halle' marched through the door with a huge smile on his face at 3:00. My life as a "father" suddenly began!

Our experiences, Halle's and mine, during that year were both pleasant and unpleasant. Most of them were pleasant, thank goodness! There developed such a bond between the two of us that we really thought of ourselves as a natural family. Halle' really became my son! He really claimed me as his Dad (his American Dad)! He still does, in fact. My life was changed for the better with our experience.

I went on to host another 6 foreign exchange students over the next 10 years. It was one of the most gratifying experiences that could have ever come my way.

To sum it up, I heard from my son, Halle', yesterday!